so i've moved out of my place. i've got rid of some stuff. i'm getting on top and organizing my finances. I'm working. I'm sick but i'll be fine- i sauna and pretty much drink oil of oregano and star of bethleham. i have distanced myself from some negativity. i am in a healthy space. i don't have to start paying back my student loan for awhile. all my clothes fit nicely into 2 giant duffle bags. i've been thinking a lot about which shoes to get for this trip... i'll be doing a lot of hiking. I'm eating well. i have change for the sky train tomorrow. i'll be working inside tomorrow. i get paid this weekend. i have a business account cheque to transfer the insurance over with. i'll start paying back my other shit after i get back though i wish i could start now... i loathe that i have to let it linger.
maybe this. maybe that. maybe up. maybe down. left. right. push. pull. who knows. we land where we land for a reason... even though sometimes where we land doesn't end up being the reason we thought we landed there for. like school... again for instance: something i cannot get off my mind and probably will not for awhile. i thought it was going to be a breeze... i had so many preconceived ideas and assumptions about how it would all take place and i tried to will it that way. i was in a place where i just needed everything to work with me but i found out quite early on that i was in for a trip on so many different levels. it was so hard but it was so great because i found out some pretty amazing things about myself. i also had the experiences that i needed to validate all the things i thought going into it but did not want to believe were true. and thats okay... at least now i know.
im not to forget the judge.
and i am to learn to give people a break. just because I'm insane doesn't mean everyone else has to be... ha
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