mouse friend at gabes

i spent the night at a friends place last night in new west. we woke up and did stretches. he told me that i need to make this a lifetime commitment. he told me i need to get in shape... he pretty much told me everything i already know but he also reminded me that if i don't start taking it seriously that when the window appears i won't be ready. the window meaning any opportunity i may wish to partake in that requires exerting any physical energy. i can't argue with him... he's absolutely right. i feel built for a well-rounded life and am built for variety. i love caving, surfing, trail running but i can also see myself needing to be able to pull people out of broken down buildings after an earthquake or build wells in places that need water. water <3

         

i was walking down the hill to the sky train after all of this and remembering that it really doesn't matter where i am as long as i am free within... i am free.

i am happiest and healthiest when i am not trying to be something that i am not. i am not comfortable being squeezed or trying to squeeze myself into the mainstream way of living that other people seem to be able to do. i think that if i could be that way that my life would be a lot easier but i just wasn't built to excel in that stream and i don't want to because in my mind... the mainstream way of living is the problem. i excel in a whole other stream and one that i am learning to accept.

indigos. telepathic. peaceful warriors. love. downloads. shamans. angels. energy. negative. positive. healing. body. mind. soul. spirit/universe/higher self/inner guidance. reiki. hypnotherapy. meditation. yoga. raw food. ...

this whole thing is going to be life long... a comment i received and am now allowing to let humble me. at the end of the day i carry around a "knowingness" but there are also many intrinsic details to so many complex things about life that i do not know. there is also the challenge of finding value in the mundane and developing patience so those two things in itself could very well take me a life time to accept and become at peace with incorporating into my life.

(I just realized I'm sitting in my sisters bathroom writing this.. ha!) someone made a comment once about how much they hate it when people call them while they are sitting on the toilet... i just thought... really?... there are so many more things that could be worse.

it's like instead of judging me for being in the bathroom while i wrote that last paragraph why not take that energy and brain power to focus it on yourself. go there instead. tap into your own self and ask why you think it's weird to write something in the bathroom. where did you get that idea from and does it really matter?

i think that stretching opened me up. i feel like i could write for hours but I'm not gonna. I'm going to make a smoothie and chill with my sister. hot tub and sauna later- hopefully i can sweat this sickness out.

generating words again = A BIG DEAL!

there is a mouse at gabes. it just wandered around like we weren't even there. gabe said that its usually very sketchy so my energy must have helped calm him down. i do feel a lot more calm.